Only 1% of married men who have affairs leave their wives

07Oct06

Only about 1% of married men who have affairs leave their wives, and many men cheat on their wives. With the Internet, there’s even more chance to be elusive in the early stages.

Of course you’re concerned and want to know if that guy you just met who’s coming on to you so delightfully is married before you get involved. But how can you be sure he isn’t married and just fooling around?

Make no mistake, married men who are fooling around can be wonderfully attentive and romantic. He can be emailing you and calling you on his cell all day long, filling your hungry heart with the wildest affirmations you’ve ever dreamed of, showering you with gifts, and making rapturous love to you when you get together.

It can be the stuff of which fantasies are made and here’s why: to him it IS a fantasy.

If you’ve experienced it, you’ll wonder how a man could do that to his wife. That’s a topic for another article. Meanwhile, it’s important not to delude yourself.

Here are 10 ways to know he’s cheating on his wife:

1.You’re suspicious. If you generically suspect every man you meet of this, it’s a prejudice and not worth much. However, if you suddenly get suspicious about the individual man you’re dealing with, then trust your instincts. Where there’s smoke there’s fire.

2.His tone of voice gets guarded or he won’t make eye contact and is evasive when certain topics come up like family, children, vacations, where he lives, etc.

3.He insists that all contact be on his terms only. He gives some reason why you must only call him at work or on his cell. Disregard the “reason.” They can be ingenious about this and if you’re love-daffy, you’ll find a way to rationalize his particular excuse. Don’t.

4.You ask for his home phone number and he refuses to give it to you. Again, disregard the “reason.”

5.His heart’s not on the line. You sense an imbalance of vulnerability, and this is intuitive. When two available people are dating, both presumably are anxious for it to work out, and are equally at-risk. When you’re playing for keeps and he’s just playing, he won’t care as much about how you’re getting along. He has the security of the marriage and nothing to lose but an exciting good time.

6.There’s a white line on the fourth finger of his left hand, a tan-line from where his wedding ring usually is, and is not when he’s with you. Or there’s the outline of a ring in his shirt pocket.

7.He isn’t fully disclosing when it would seem appropriate. He alludes to “things he’ll tell you about later.”

8.He gives strange reasons for not wanting to go to certain places (like your favorite restaurant). You first met him at a dance hall (where he’s known and someone might tell his wife) and after that every place he takes you to is in another county. (There’s a part of town he definitely avoids. Guess why?)

9.He seems strangely addicted to paying for restaurants, motels, resorts, and airplane tickets in cash rather than by credit card.

10.He is never available on Sundays. In some cultures, and with many men, Saturday night may be Boys Night Out, but Sunday is strictly “family time.” Ditto for holidays. This is part of that peculiar male honor code: OK to cheat. But not on July 4th. That’s family time.

Your surest guide is your gut instinct. Keep three meta-points in mind.

POINT ONE: What he says and doesn’t say. Anything you sense as secretive should set off alarms. Lovers in a developing relationship disclose more as time goes by. The married gigolo discloses up to a point and that’s it.

POINT TWO: His “aplomb.” No matter how self-confident a man is, if he’s available and romancing a woman he cares about, he’ll show moments of anxiety and confusion. But a married man who’s dating is coasting. With the security of a wife back home, what’s to stress over?

POINT THREE: The sex is the best you’ve ever had. Nothing stokes a man’s fire like forbidden love unless it’s forbidden love that carries no threat of the “c” word.

Keep your head about you. If you find out he’s married and confront him about it and he says he’ll divorce her, don’t count on it. The odds are strongly against you.



2 Responses to “Only 1% of married men who have affairs leave their wives”

  1. 1 Christina

    I have been dating a married man. The thing is he told me he was married but separated. His got 3 children. I didnt mean to get involved, but because it wasnt serious on my side at first, i thought its up to him because I was free. In the end i developed strong feelings for him.
    I found out that the wife had the same address with this man, but the man told me she only visited their kids.
    We also meant to go to see a public happening together, but instead he phoned me that he would go with his kids and the wife would be there as well. I told him that even if his feelings are real for me, his gotta make a decision what he wants. I wont be a second choice or pushed aside, I want a man whos mine alone. He said he cant leave his wife hat easily because he might loose his kids and things. This is what I said still, and it was not easy because i had feelings for him. But I have to put myself first and let him know what I want regardless of his decision. I dont think he will ever be mine anyway, and I will move on my life now.

  2. 2 kate

    IF you are a married man and having affair, STOP….. you are a selfish low life. so what the sex is good , do better by your wife and she will do better by you. you are killing your kids, and trust me I know this, your kids will always hate you. I had 21 years with the same man, and four children, he left…. my kids hate him, hate her, and dont want to see there father. they dont trust him, and want the day to come when they dont have to see him again. I make them go every other weekend, and they hate me for that. if you think the other woman knows you better than your wife, then start talking. you dont know yourself. you want this wow like you were a teen again. how smart were you when you were a teen? or even in your 20′s
    If you have come this far with your wife, then dont blow it now. I would have done anything to save my kids, myself, and even the jerk that left ,from all the pain. now he isnt here to see his kids at the end of the day, and he cant ever take any of it back. he never saw his 5 year loose his first tooth, or the father daughter dance, or his oldest have her first date, and his nine year old son that wont do anything with him. my now Ex, is in the public eye and has no respect from his co workers. so ask yourself if it is worth it for a cheep woman who will at some point drop you for the next man, and if you are the woman, is it worth the long nights when he says he has to work late ? both the man or the woman should get help, and see what is wrong in side you that holds such a dark place. if your relationship begins with a lie, it will end that way too.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

%d bloggers like this: